Have you noticed how a simple word can impact the meaning of what we are trying to say? The usage of the word BUT is interesting, especially while giving someone feedback. Look at these examples : “You are a nice person but you need to change the way you communicate” “You are a good cook but you can improve on the salads you make” “You are pretty but you need to lose some weight” (run after saying this!) ...
Has it ever happened to you that someone complimented you for something and you wondered if it was genuine or sarcastic? Or may be someone said they were happy for you but didn’t really look happy? In ulterior transactions two messages are conveyed at the same time — a social message on top and the psychological message at the bottom. So it appears like you are saying one thing but actually there is something else you are trying to convey (left to the intelligence of the receiver). ...