Research on persuasion shows that our neurology is linked to the words we use. If we speak about the positive qualities in others, our listeners associate those same qualities with us. This information is being used in training people on how to be more influential. The trainees are asked to speak about the qualities that they want their listeners to see in them.

I have experienced something similar to what was found in this research. Once, I met a lady who was telling me about how kind her family members were. I remember thinking that she was kind as well. 

The use of words directs our attention to the quality and we tend to associate it with the person who is currently holding our attention.

This works best when our intention is sincere—when we are genuinely appreciating others and talking about their strengths, not with an ulterior motive of coming out as the shiny one.

There is another side to this: if we speak negatively of others, people see the same qualities in us. You sometimes meet people who gossip and speak ill of others. Although you have never seen them do anything terrible, you associate them with the negativity they are referring to. 

Influence people with your words and get them to associate positive qualities with you. Your conversations will enhance your relationships.