Has it happened sometime with you that you wanted things to be in a certain way but despite communicating your needs, you got nothing in return? You feel worse because you told the other person what you wanted and their not complying makes you feel uncared for. You might even feel that it was better when you said nothing, as that way you could live with the myth that they would change if only they knew your views.

There are other reasons for non-compliance that you might overlook—like people not being smart enough to remember your preferences, or being ignorant of how their actions are affecting you. If you attribute their ignorance to malice, it can hurt your relationship and your inner peace.

Next time you see people doing something you don’t like, check—do they really intend it that way or are they unaware of what you need? Do they just lack the skills required to remember your preferences and change their behavior?

Changing one’s behavior requires time, patience, effort, and commitment. Most people continue doing what they were doing out of a force of habit. Expecting people to change might be a steep hill to climb. It helps to work around the issue while viewing their intentions positively.



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