According to the renowned family therapist Virginia Satir, there are primarily 5 personality types. When you are in a difficult situation, your communication style changes to cope with the stress. You unconsciously take actions to deflect your feelings. Do you identify with any of these?
Has it happened sometime with you that you wanted things to be in a certain way but despite communicating your needs, you got nothing in return? You feel worse because you told the other person what you wanted and their not complying makes you feel uncared for. You might even feel that it was better when you said nothing, as that way you could live with the myth that they would change if only they knew your views.
Most people think that the will to survive is the strongest instinct in human beings, but it isn’t. The strongest instinct is to keep things familiar. -Virginia Satir, Family Therapist