Marketing messages follow us wherever we go. We switch on the television and see advertisements with people who look like models (because they are). We are told how we can be better and have more. Social media paints pictures of the glamorous lifestyle of others. This subconsciously gives us the message: we aren’t enough! We aren’t good enough, smart enough, rich enough, etc.
When people who are loving and caring go overboard with their service to others, they tend to be taken for granted. Unfortunately, not everybody acknowledges how much they do. It is easier to just get used to it and start expecting more. Here are the signs when people take you for granted:
Has it happened sometime with you that you wanted things to be in a certain way but despite communicating your needs, you got nothing in return? You feel worse because you told the other person what you wanted and their not complying makes you feel uncared for. You might even feel that it was better when you said nothing, as that way you could live with the myth that they would change if only they knew your views.
As children we had plenty of people telling us what is right and what is wrong with us. We were asked to work on our behaviour and were reprimanded if we didn’t. What happens to this once we grow up? Now that we have complete autonomy we don’t really need to put up with any feedback. Sooner or later, there is no one who can point out anything about us. In other words, we can not be challenged ….and we like it that way!
Most people think that the will to survive is the strongest instinct in human beings, but it isn’t. The strongest instinct is to keep things familiar.
-Virginia Satir, Family Therapist