Articles on emotional well-being, persuasive communication, and personal growth from Roma Sharma.
Marketing messages follow us wherever we go. We switch on the television and see advertisements with people who look like models (because they are). We are told how we can be better and have more. Social media paints pictures of the glamorous lifestyle of others. This subconsciously gives us the message: we aren’t enough! We aren’t good enough, smart enough, rich enough, etc.
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When people who are loving and caring go overboard with their service to others, they tend to be taken for granted. Unfortunately, not everybody acknowledges how much they do. It is easier to just get used to it and start expecting more. Here are the signs when people take you for granted:
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Has it happened sometime with you that you wanted things to be in a certain way but despite communicating your needs, you got nothing in return? You feel worse because you told the other person what you wanted and their not complying makes you feel uncared for. You might even feel that it was better when you said nothing, as that way you could live with the myth that they would change if only they knew your views.
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As children we had plenty of people telling us what is right and what is wrong with us. We were asked to work on our behaviour and were reprimanded if we didn’t. What happens to this once we grow up? Now that we have complete autonomy we don’t really need to put up with any feedback. Sooner or later, there is no one who can point out anything about us. In other words, we can not be challenged ….and we like it that way!
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Most people think that the will to survive is the strongest instinct in human beings, but it isn’t. The strongest instinct is to keep things familiar. -Virginia Satir, Family Therapist
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I sometimes wonder what is required for lasting change. Consider the number of self-help messages, books, videos and seminars that bombard our social network. These positive messages show up on a daily basis. It feels good to read for a while but shortly after, the effect is gone.
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The first thing I learnt as a student of counselling is that feelings are real. Somehow, I seem to have missed a simple point like that all along. Like everyone else, I always thought that there was a certain way I should feel and another way I shouldn’t.
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As we go over the hurt and pain from our past we are only gripped with sadness. It’s natural for us to wonder why we suffered the way we did and how much better it would have been if we hadn’t. However, there is another side to this story that is worth exploring.
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I recently read about the invention of a love-pill. Brian Earp, researcher at Oxford University’s Institute for Neuroethics, is working on magic pills to help you fall in and out of love(!) I was instantly transported back to Shakespeare’s midsummer night’s dream. Remember that story in which Titania (the queen of fairies) falls in love with Nick Bottom (the […]
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To be loved and accepted is a basic human need. As children we feel good about ourselves when we receive positive strokes from our environment. In the absence of which, we could enter into a pattern of behaviour to get these needs met. A series of well-crafted transactions could help the person get what he […]
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